Now, I will begin by saying this, I am no expert on self-love, but rather I am learning as I go along this journey of life. Thus far, I have come across individuals who hide behind their partners, children, careers success, all because they lack of self-love. The absence of k of self-love can be crippling, causing one to always chase after love in all the wrong places....am sure you have heard that saying before.
But can you give love, when you do not love yourself? What does loving yourself actually mean?
Let me try and break it down to the best of my ability, according to what I have observed, what I have learnt thus far.
One of my mentors told me that most of us put a lot of emphasis, too much emphasis on always striving to getting along with "other people". So much so that you begin to slowly violate, your spirit, body and soul. Rather, the most important person to get along with and develop a loving relationship with is yourself! You should desire to know yourself on every level.
Growing up, emphasis was put on a reliance on other people's opinion of me, I moulded to societal norms, but never taught to be self aware, or to nurture self-love. From time to time, the self-love gene in my being would try to come out, and create wonderful blessings for me instantaneously, but it was quickly beaten back, told to retreat, and a tight lid screwed back on. That was that!
Self knowledge is the key to all relationships!
The most important person for you to love is yourself!
The bible, arguably one of the most read books in the world, encourages us to "love your neighbour as you love yourself" ,Mark 12 v 30-31. A teacher of the law asked Jesus to tell him the most important commandment or greatest of all the existing 669 commandments. I guess the teacher got tiered of trying to keep all 669 commandments. in short, the answer was, Love yourself.
The emphasis on the answer Jesus gave was, Love yourself first, then go ahead and love your neighbour. Interestingly enough, you can only love others to the same degree as you love yourself.
Can I suggest to you that you can not give what you do not have. You can not give love, or love somebody else if you don't love you. Loving yourself is equal to loving God, after all you are a creation of God. How can you hate the creation, but say you love the creator?
Fall in love with yourself first.
Stop trying to love other people first.
If you don't love yourself, you then develop an insatiable appetite for people to always love you, what a burden!
It is more important for me to love me, than for you to love me.
You can only love others to the same degree and measure in which you love yourself.
If I love me, and you don't love me, I am still loved! if you leave me, I am still loved!
The way to self love is self discovery, i.e. spend time with yourself. Self discovery will lead you to self-worth. Self-worth leads you self-esteem, because your worth it!
this blog was in inspired by M Munroe - Self love
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